Gift #2 Trials and Pain

(me)

Yes, trials and pain. Why? Because they bring us closer to Him and make us more like Him.

I don't think I've ever heard more honest words than these written by Ann Voskamp in her book, 1000 Gifts, "For years, I have pulled the covers up over my head, dreading to begin another day I'd be bound to just wreck. Years, I lie listening to the taunt of names ringing off my interior walls, ones from the past that never drifted far and away: Loser. Mess. Failure. They are signs nailed overhead, nailed through me, naming me. The stars are blinking out. Funny, this. Yesterday morning, the morning before, all these mornings, I wake to discontent of life in my skin. I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed late, neglect cleaning the toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in the veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough?"

I was stunned that she admitted that. Or that she felt that. More specifically, that she said for years of mornings she has woken wanting to die. I haven't felt that intense but have had moments that I long for Heaven. If you look at her blog and peek into her life she seems to "have it all together." She says she's a mess. I can relate to that. I have said before I am like Sidney in the children's book, Sidney and Norman by Phil Vischer. But to hear someone that looks like they "have it all together" say that?

The truth is I could have written these words myself, only not quite so eloquently. I can also relate with her wanting to live fully. To cherish these fleeting moments we have. Even to embrace the pain caused by living in a fallen world. I have learned so much about things such as love and forgiveness through the trials God has allowed in my life. He has used them for good. Always for our good. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

A Pregnancy Tip for Dana

Three simple words…. » A Holy Experience

Motherhood Is Application

Motherhood Is Application

1000 Gifts Gift #1 Family Time

I am inspired by the book, 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp! I haven't even read it yet but hope to soon. This is a list of my own blessings and they are in no particular order.

Family Time.This was a fun Saturday! I had already been cleaning inside the house and Derrick and the kids asked me to come help them rake the leaves. I really didn't feel like it but they begged me. Once I got out there I really enjoyed the family time. It was good exercise! I loved just being together and doing something outdoors. The kids played in the wheelbarrow after our work was done and they had so much fun. I loved to see the way they smiled when they got pushed in the wheelbarrow.

Figuring Life Out - One Thousand Gifts

Newsmakers Interview: Ann Voskamp - YouTube

Newsmakers Interview: Ann Voskamp - YouTube

Picking Out a Christmas Tree!

It's been a fun weekend, minus being sick. Friday we went to a Christmas tree nursery. Samantha picked the tree and Derrick and Bailey cut it down. We drank some apple cider and the kids ate candy canes. I love getting a real tree and the smell of them! We came back home and decorated it. I went to rent a movie and found that Reasor's video was closing down and they were selling everything. So, I bought The Nativity for $1.99. I also bought a bunch of other favorites, like The Ultimate Gift,Saving Sarah Cain, Flywheel, and some others for $1.99. We watched The Nativity that night. Saturday Derrick left and went to Dallas to run in the Dallas Marathon on Sunday! He did very well. He ran a 4:10, though his goal every year is to break 4:00. His best time is 4:01. We stayed home this time. That was a very lazy Saturday and Isabella and I were just beginning to feel the sickness Samantha had passed on to us. We didn't get hardly a thing done except watch a movie, eat, and Christmas shop online. So, that was fun. On Sunday we were unable to go to church but we did later in the day eat lunch at grandmas and let Bella nap while we went and grabbed more lights and ornaments. Derrick had said we should get more decorations and lights so the kids wanted to make everything look different for when Derrick came home. We put some lights on the porch outside and the kids hung a whole bunch of different colored birds they had picked out for the tree. Gigi got them some and I got them some.
My mom usually liked our Christmas tree to be decorated all red or all blue and it was really pretty. For instance, she would have all red lights, all red sparkly boots ornaments, all red beads...I loved it when we would get a real tree and she would spray frost on it. I love the story decorations on a tree can tell. Already I have so many stories. The kids have made some of the decorations, some ornaments have been given as gifts, I have some ornaments with their baby pictures, I show the kids which ornament was the first one I bought for them, one says, "Joy" which is Olivia's middle name...
I thought that I arranged the pictures to go in order from top to bottom but I did it backwards. If you want to see the pictures in order you can scroll to the bottom and go up.