"Cultivating" Our Children

I was reading No Greater Joy Volume 1 last night. It is by Michael and Debi Pearl. Now, let me just say, most people either really, really like them or really, really don't. As for me, I really like what they have to say concerning training children to obey the first time they are asked by being consistently disciplined and trained. I like them but sometimes wish they were a little less harsh when they word things and we do have some doctrinal differences but it is not over any essentials of the faith. That being said, he gave me a really good word picture that I would like to share.

"If you will take time to anticipate the character you desire in your teenagers and cultivate it while they are young, you will be able to enjoy the fruit later on. We gardeners know that it is much easier to weed early in the season, before the sun gets hot and the ground gets hard. If you wait too long, you may wait until the experience is so painful and humiliating that you give up on one of your "plants" and say, "Well maybe next year-next child..." "I encourage those of you with small children, train up your children now. Do not wait until they are one year old to start training. Rebellion and self-will should be broken in the four-month-old when it first appears." He then gave an encouragement to think of ways you can train your child.

Now, I have tried to do some things in the hot sun and hardened dirt in a small garden that was so difficult to deal with I don't even have it in the backyard anymore. It is SO much harder. I have also had some difficulty with my little "plants" because I failed to train earlier and let some things go. It is much harder to undo the behavior than to train in the beginning. We learned that they understand waaay more than we think they do at an early age. We started training Isabella much younger and we are enjoying the fruit of that. My children are wonderful blessings and are little sweethearts but we do have issues that I think we wouldn't have had we trained them earlier. But, I pray God will help us where we are to train them up. I, myself, am still being "trained up" and hope that I can be a better example for my children to "follow me as I follow Christ."

The Year 2010

This year, of course, will have in store many blessings. One being the birth of our precious Livi in May. But, at the same time, we have had a significant loss and this year we will be without some of the blessings we have had in previous years. We lost Derrick's dad on December 30th and this will be our first year without his presence. He fought a long and hard battle with cancer and was extremely strong and absolutely amazing with the things he could still do being that sick. One being, putting together much of my brother-in-law and new sister-in-law's wedding.

There have been many things written about him including his obituary and the article the Tulsa World did on him, the things spoken about him at his funeral, and the many wonderful comments from friends and family on his facebook. He would feel so honored by the many events that have happened concerning his death. Derrick said, "I wish he was here to see all this." I said, "I know, but then there wouldn't be all this..." This is not an attempt to write something wonderful and elaborate but just my thoughts. I can't sleep as I have been laying in bed going over and over the events of the day from his funeral. Derrick and I talked and talked as he could not sleep either but I hope he can get some sleep because, bless his heart, he has drill he has to get up for at 5:30 this morning and it will be his birthday.

This may just be me but I feel like you can't really feel the weight of a person until you don't have them anymore. Like, you don't fully realize how much you love a person until you don't have them anymore. And then, even their annoying traits become endearing. In the last days I have definitely felt the weight of Rick's life. His friends left so many comments on his facebook, we watched the touching video of his life at his funeral, and all the things we've learned about him from his death. I looked at the pictures of him when he was younger with his children in the stage of life Derrick and I are in right now. I've been thinking over his MANY talents. And the little things...but they were huge. He used to elaborately decorate his place for Christmas with two Christmas trees, set a fancy table with namecards and decorations to take home (Christmas ornaments), make his wonderful Syrian food (I especially loved his grape leave rolls and baklava), and pour sparkling grape juice or apple cider for us. He was the best dog owner! His dogs were like his children.

This is the first time I have had anyone close to me die. One of the saddest things I have discovered about it is the impact it has on my children. Mostly Bailey because Samantha is kind of in "La La Land" about it. It was the saddest thing when he bawled and bawled and I just held him. Once he said, "Even though he died, he's still my Papa." Bailey understands and has lots of questions. I have to explain things like, "Why did God take him when he was only 56?" I contrasted that one with our little 4-year old friend that died of lukemia and our little baby I miscarried this year. I talked about how blessed he was to have those 56 years and how blessed we were to have him as long as we did. Then I reassured him that "everything works together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes". I told him that even when some things "seem" bad to us that God has a reason for it even though we may not understand it and that it is for our good even if it doesn't "look" like it. I gave him a scenario of our baby. I said, "What if God knew that our baby was going to live maybe even really long on the earth to be 70 or 80 years old but that it was going to reject God? What would be worse for that baby to live long on the earth and reject God or for that baby to die and go to heaven?" As I have said before, I have prayed (what John Piper prayed about his children), "Lord, if my children are going to grow up to reject you, take them now, take them now." Meaning before the age of accountability when they understand and may willingly choose to reject God. I, of course, don't know the reason why God allowed this to happen but I still know that He will work it out for our good.

Already, I have seen atleast a couple of really exciting things come out of this. One of them being that someone came and spoke to Derrick after he spoke about his dad at the funeral. Derrick gave an account of some of the happenings the last couple of years of his dad's life such as his being interested in reading the Bible, praying more, and seeing God's hand in the events of his life. One of the things he told us that Derrick quoted at the funeral was something like, "I'm going to miss thunderstorms. The sound of the thunder, the way the clouds look, the lightning..." He had gotten a liver transplant almost 2 years ago and his heart stopped beating. The doctor had to cut a huge incision and reached in and massaged his heart. Derrick talked about how he thinks his dad ended up receiving much more than a liver but he thinks a new heart after that event. A new heart that only God can give when a person begins to see things from God's perspective and however gradually or quickly begin to turn from their own way of doing things and begin the process of leaving behind the things that grieve God. Anyhow, this person told Derrick that they used to think his Christianity was fake and he was just excited about his newfound "faith". They said after hearing him speak they could tell that his faith was real and they said they trusted him and were interested in doing the same with their life. That is SO exciting that God would use Derrick in that way. The other thing is way too precious and I haven't even gotten a full grasp on my thoughts of it and maybe I'll share that at a later time.

And now I want to draw my thoughts to what our church family did for us. They put together a reception for us and it was VERY nice with a variety of foods and, of course, tons of desserts. I cried when I walked in and saw what they had done. These women (and a couple of men) have young children and many responsibilities at home (believe me, I know what it entails) and, yet, they devoted their time, energy, effort, money, and love into this day for us and made it so special. There was so much food we split it atleast 5 ways and got to take a bunch home. What a huge blessing as I don't have to go to the grocery store right away or cook. I have no idea how to thank them enough but wish I could. I hope to pass it forward to someone in need in the future. I struggle to keep up with the many things that have to be taken care of at home so I know what a huge sacrifice it was for them. I am so thankful for the many people who have ministered to us whether it be by praying, sending us a card, providing food, sending flowers, donating to Rick's scholarship or to Arts and Humanities, serving us and cleaning up at the funeral, giving us a phone call, singing or playing an instrument at the funeral,coming to the funeral, for loving and caring for my father-in-law, and much more.
Well, I think I may be able to sleep now and am starting to realize I will struggle tomorrow if I don't so...I really better go and try.

A White Christmas!

Wow! It was wild out there today! We had gone to one of my grandma's to celebrate earlier in the day and were supposed to be at my other grandma's at 6:00 tonight. We decided to go there early to put the kids down for a nap. Some of our family members had called to say they couldn't make it. One family had tried to come and turned around and went back home! We made the drive home tonight and we saw a car trying to push another car to get it unstuck but both of their wheels were spinning and another car coming behind the second one trying to help. We saw a lot of people walking on the street either getting out of their cars or going to help others. We got on the highway once and no one had turned onto the curvy exit we normally take to get on another highway. It was like a ghost town. There wasn't any tire tracks so you couldn't even see where the road was! We chose not to go that way and to get off and take the streets. One car was stuck in a ditch and Derrick pulled over to help. It was so neat because at the same time we pulled over, another SUV pulled over and some guys jumped out. They and Derrick ran and pushed that car out and off it went. Total strangers just out helping each other. We saw a lot of that. We saw a police officer driving the wrong way on a one way highway exit to help someone. We did get stuck once but, thankfully, it was only in our driveway! I'm thankful for our 4-wheel drive. It took us an hour to get home when it normally would have taken 25 minutes.

* Before Samantha went to sleep she asked me, "What is tomorrow?" She wanted to make sure. I said, "Jesus' birthday." She said, "Mom, how old is Jesus turning?" I tried to give her a theological answer about how Jesus is God and how He has always existed. She asked again, "No, mom, how old is Jesus going to be?" It's so late and we're going to be so tired so I told her we'd talk about it in the morning. ;)

**We have a name for the baby! It's Livy! Only one letter off from Lily which I love but Derrick didn't want to use that because we have some close friends with a precious daughter named that. Okay, so it's actually Olivia. Derrick said he liked the name Olivia and my wheels started turning..."Livy! I'll call her Livy!" So, we're both happy. I hoped I'd find a name I liked as much as Lily. Olivia Joy, but you can call her Livy. ;)

Cheesecake Factory

After we ate at Wendy's with G-ma Bobber & Papa Mitchell last night my sister-in-law, Mikaela, and I dropped Bay & Sam off at Awana. We wanted to go out for dessert somewhere. It was just Aunt Kay Kay, Isabella, & me. We were trying to decide where to go and I thought about The Cheesecake Factory. Since a restaurant with this name has not appealed to Derrick, seeing that he does not have a big sweet tooth, I thought I should take the opportunity to go there. We are still without him but we will have a list of things to do with him when he gets back to catch up on all the Christmasy things we want to do with him. I was not in the mood for cheesecake but we made sure they had other things and then went. Wow! Their menu is amazing! They are a little pricey though compared to other places. The brownie fudge sundae we ended up getting was $8.95 after all. I don't know if they just did this because we had Bella or what but they brought out sliced bananas along with the bread. They had unique stuff on their menu, such as, Fried Macaroni & Cheese balls on a bed of marinara sauce, fried artichokes...all kinds of stuff. Of course, they had a looong list of cheesecakes. I saw a burrito on their menu that I really want to try and being pregnant I think I'll think of it until I get to have it. Maybe...Derrick...will want to take me on a date there for a $14 burrito! It had cilantro rice, guacamole, black beans came with it...

The crazy thing is that when I got home and got the kids to bed I sat and read mail and a lot of sweet Christmas cards we received. I was so tired I could hardly change what I was doing and get myself off the couch to go to bed. But, when I did get in bed I could not sleep for the life of me! I sat there wondering, "Why can't I sleep?!" for awhile. My heart was racing. Then it finally hit me that the Brownie Fudge Sundae must have had a lot of caffeine in it. I mean, this thing must have been loaded with it! It was made with the really good Ghiradelli chocolate and was sooo chocolately. I try to stay away from caffeine because I know how it affects me (I have very little tolerance for it and it can make my head spin if I have too much) and because I'm pregnant. I have never had a brownie fudge sundae (and this, being my favorite, I've had a lot) that seemed to have so much caffeine. So, anyway, I would eat it again...just earlier in the day. ;)

If you wrote someone 66 love letters and they never read them, would you be upset?

That is exactly what God did. He has given us the 66 books of the Bible. I was just thinking about some unbelievers I know tonight that deny God's existence or make up their own god to suit themselves (so they can be comfortable with their lifestyles). But, they have not even read the Bible. I remember it was when I was broken-hearted over the path my life had taken and I opened up the Bible. I was astonished at what I read! At first I remember reading about God's judgment on those who walk according to the lusts of their flesh. Then I remember being in awe of God's awesome grace. That is when I came to believe that Jesus came to take the punishment I deserved. Then, I remember being so surprised that I didn't have to do the work when it came to leaving my lifestyle of sin. He gave me a new heart and I just started seeing things differently.

I just wish some of the people I know would be able to come to the place where they can say, "I once was blind, but now I see." Just thinking...and praying.

Also, Derrick got accepted into Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. I am so excited about what he is going to be learning about and teaching our family. If you would, please pray for him and the direction of our family.

Oh, we found out that the baby is a girl! We don't have a name for her yet but we're working on it.

I think it was Ray Comfort that I heard use that analogy about the 66 books of the Bible.

Random post, huh?

A Wonderful Morning Until...

Yesterday we had such a nice morning that followed a really fun time we had with Derrick on his last night before he left for Alabama. He got the position of First Sergeant and has to go to school to learn about the job. We went to Los Cabos that night. A lady made them some cute balloons and Derrick and I had some chicken and spinach enchiladas that were so good. Of course, we love the chips & salsa too. Being pregnant, I wish I had some right now. Then we went to the Bass Pro Shop. I had no idea that place was so much fun, especially for the kids. I'll have to try to post the pictures. It's probably especially fun right now because it's almost Christmas time. They had a waterfall in there and huge fish in a tank, a bunch of stuffed real animals...You can imagine the kids loved it. The pictures of Isabella on her new tricycle were taken before we went to Los Cabos. She can't peddle it yet so they have to peddle for her! We decided to go to breakfast Sunday morning because we would have to drop Derrick off at the airport at the same time church started. We went to one of my favorite places, Cracker Barrel! I love that place. The food is so good and I love their gift shop. I did some Christmas shopping for the kids while we were there. We got a huge floor checkerboard set for Bay, a magnetic tea party doll set for Sammer, and some of those silly little weasle balls that the kids enjoyed seeing on display. They are cute.

Now for the decline of the morning... I knew I was going to hang out with a friend that was in town for Thanksgiving break. After we dropped Derrick off at the airport I knew I needed to rest before we went to my grandma's for lunch and then on to shop and out to eat with my friend. So, I let the kids watch a movie and I took a nap. Usually I can do something like this and the worst thing that happens is they make a mess in the living room and I just have them clean it up. When I got up and walked into the living room Bailey said in an excited voice, "I cut Samantha's hair!" I surveyed the damage and disciplined as needed. Then he said, "I cut Isabella's hair too!" She was in her crib. I said, "What?!" and ran to see the damage. There was a bunch of hair on the girl's floor. Isabella's hair was cut almost to the scalp in the front! I knew I was going to need some professional help for the both of them. So, before we went to my grandma's house I ran by Supercuts. They wanted $13.95 for a kids cut! I just thought that was a little high for a kid's cut and especially a cut that I didn't see was going to be able to entirely fix the problem. Samantha's was cut short in a bunch of random places. I had talked to my sister-in-law, Dana, about it before I went into Supercuts and she said she might be able to help. She does cut her own kids hair really well but I said, "I think this is out of your hands because it's so bad." But, after getting the price quote, I quickly called her back. She saved the day! When we walked into her house she had a chair all set up on a towel and a professional plastic cover. She played Veggietales for the kids. Best of all, she did a really good job! Samantha's hair is short now but really cute. As for Bella, well poor baby, it's just going to have to grow. We have to do the comb over thing for her. It really doesn't look too bad if it stays in place.

Our "Lil' Cubbie" and "Lil' Spark"

Samantha (Cubbie) and Bailey (Spark)dressed up for a special Thanksgiving night at Awana.