February~Pursuing Love

"We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually; we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves."

"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - from Friendship.

"This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is - in her own mere nature - least lovable. For the Church has no beauty but what the Bride-groom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely." - from Eros.

"It is probably impossible to love any human being simply 'too much.' We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the man, that constitutes the inordinacy. - from Charity.

~From the Four Loves by C.S. Lewis

Pursuing Love December/January

Oh dear! December and January got away from me! There was Christmas, a super fun Disneyland trip right after and we rang in the new year there (*side note: Almost all of us were standing right next to Dennis Quaid there, except me watching the littles while everyone rode Radiator Springs. They think they raced his car!), and a long flu to recover from when we got home. Nonetheless, I have been pursuing love and not even remembering to blog about it. I have seen growth and am so thankful. I know marriage has peaks and valleys and we are on the peak right now. It is such a lovely place to be. My pastor has quoted that book, "Don't sweat the small stuff and it is all small stuff." The small stuff seems not to be so offensive as it used to be! I was thinking on this this morning and how far it goes just to be patient with our spouse when they offend us and to just let more things go. The scripture, "Love covers a multitude of sins," came to me when I thought of it. I had to stay home from church with little Noah because he had a fever and listened to a John Piper sermon, "Love Her Less, Love Her More." Hardly a couple of hours after I had thought on it, Piper was quoting that very verse and talking about exactly what I had been dwelling on! The sermon lined right up  with it! I love it when it seems the Lord seems to be affirming things to us. It happened not too many weeks back with a sermon my pastor preached as well.

My notes on Piper's sermon~

If your marriage is going to make God look glorious, you must be more satisfied in God than marriage. If he's vastly more beautiful to us than we are to each other. Long-suffering required to be in this marriage for the glory of God. Daily, hourly, yearly, decades long dying, self-denial that will be required to love this man/woman so God gets the glory. How does love cover a multitude of sins? You're married to a sinner, your kids are sinners, there's a daily disappointment in life,  at church,  in the home. If this is not figured out, if you don't find a way to cover those sins...this is the end! True love covers them so you don't see them or they don't make you bitter, angry, hard, resentful...how does love cause you not to respond that way?! Faith working through love to cover all these sins in my family, friends, in my church... Faith in what? What act of faith releases a love that covers sins and keeps me happily engaged in all my relationships without bitterness and anger, resentment, and hardness? Here's my sentence: "'Piper, you have a blood-bought, inexpressively happy, totally undeserved future.'" If I could believe that at every moment of conflict, every moment of difficulty,  at every moment of frustration, at every moment as I look out onto the world, I'd be a loving man. If our marriages are going to show God gloriously all satisfying, then we must find more satisfaction in Him than in anything,  especially marriage. Marriages sweetened by the glory of God...Marriages to portray truth and beauty...Make God central in preaching, not marriage. HE is my satisfaction.

http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/love-her-more-love-her-less

Pursuing Love~November

Oh no! I almost missed November! It just got away from me. I don't know where November has gone. I didn't do so great on my October focus but it really ties in with what I want to focus on now so I'll continue there... Nonetheless, this is where I'm going to try to focus and pray about:

Pursuing passionate love

I was listening to a Sally Clarkson podcast when I was inspired to focus on this. Just today, Derrick randomly texted me this verse:

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

After I read that, I continued my reading for the morning and it happened to fall on:

"Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God."  1 Peter 1:22

Those words: LOVE ONE ANOTHER EARNESTLY

So awesome that the Lord put that on both our hearts on the same day!

In my John MacArthur study Bible, John MacArthur writes, "It is the nature of true spiritual love, whether from God to man or Christian to Christian,  to cover sins...It means specifically that a Christian should overlook sins against him if possible, and always be ready to forgive insults and unkindnesses."

Pursuing Love~October

I haven't forgotten! I just was having trouble signing onto my account. ;-) You thought I'd already forgotten myself? No. I'm still pursuing love but I have been physically and emotionally spent since school started back up. I am in the perfect training field for practicing and pursuing love- let me tell you!! Lots and lots of opportunities abound! I should be excited, right? Hmm.
I have something specific I'm pursuing this month and it has been going well and has been consistent so far. I won't go into specifics because my kiddoes do read this blog from time to time! :-) I also really hope to slow down, take a breath, and read over my past blogs on pursuing love. I hope to continue being intentional with those things. Can I be honest with you? My 1.1 readers. Sometimes I forget. I think other times I'm "not feeling it." But, I will continue on. Onward Christian soldiers...in October. Corny, I know. I'm tired. Note to self: Never blog when tired.

Pursuing Love ♡ September

Colossians 3: 1-17 And so this is what I want to focus on this month. I have already been put to the test and failed! It's been rough making the adjustment of beginning the new schoolyear. It didn't help that we went to Tennessee (though worth it) and got behind on co-op work. The kids have had a heavy load putting almost 2 weeks of co-op work into one week. It has me stressed. We have had some "storms" in the house and I have felt discouraged. :( But it does show me my desperate need for the Lord and I am crying out to Him for help as a mama and a wife. I want to keep focusing on not saying anything negative to or about my spouse because, well, that is just priceless. I want to put off anger and some of the "talk" I've heard coming out of my mouth. I want to put on kindness, patience, a compassionate heart, bear with these others in my home, and forgive continually. I also want to look back at my August commitments for pursuing love and apply them. 

I was interrupted with a couple of moments to apply these things even as I wrote this post- one a fussy toddler+ and a grumpy bigger kid.I'm going to try and see these trying times as "opportunities." These are opportunities to put God's word into practice. I am praying for God to use these to grow me and to grow the ones in my home too. It is here that I believe we should love the best, to be authentic in this home, so that we can then go and show Christ's love to others outside of it. There is nowhere to hide here. These people see all our flaws, our ideosyncracies, our failures... But may this place be a place where kindness, compassion, love, forgiveness, long suffering, understanding grows more and more. May we learn to reflect and imitate Him well...someway, somehow. By His doing.

Put On the New Self

3 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³ For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christwho is your^[a] life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death therefore what is earthly in you:^[b] sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.⁶ On account of these the wrath of God is coming.^[c] 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. ⁸ But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice,slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. ⁹ Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self^[d] with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. ¹¹ Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave,^[e] free; but Christ is all, and in all.

¹² Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,compassionate hearts, kindness,humility, meekness, and patience,¹³ bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ¹⁴ And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. ¹⁵ And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Pursuing Love♡August

Early in our marriage Derrick and I read the book called, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Derrick doesn't put a lot of stock in it now but I remember that Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation were how he best received love. As for me Quality Time and Physical Touch are equally the most important. Not growing up with a lot of physical affection, though I was loved greatly in other ways by some of my family, contributed to me not being very affectionate. Add to that the pain of life, along with not doing relationships God's way (I didn't become a believer until the age of 21), you wouldn't be able to tell that is one of my top "love languages." My mom has even been known to call me "stoic."  But it is. I feel so loved when given physical affection and that is when my cup runneth over. I am affectionate with my children but I struggle feeling comfortable giving physical affection to adults. I am usually not the one to initiate hugs unless it is with someone who consistently offers them to me. So this month I endeavor to initiate more hugs and to initiate being close with Derrick on a more consistent basis than normal and to be intentional. I also endeavor to be more intentional about my "Acts of Service" to Derrick. One more thing- When I read "The Love Dare" and implemented the very first dare, I was amazed at the bliss it brought to our marriage. So, for this month (it should be forever), I commit to not saying anything negative  to or about my spouse. However, I will talk with the Lord about anything that comes up. My one consistent blog reader has permission to hold me accountable- you know who you are!

Happy (almost) August!

My Goal This Year- to Pursue Love

We had a minor trial this year that felt like a major trial to me. It bothers me how unlovingly I responded. I definitely had a lack of love. I did have some grace-filled times of handling it well but mostly failed to trust the Lord and failed to just rest in my husband's leading. My goal this year is to pursue love. Hopefully to pursue it to my own hurt. I am partly afraid to start though because sometimes I am good to have a plan but not so good with the follow-through. :( So, little blog, please help to keep me accountable. :) This isn't scripture but Rory (thislifeilive.com) said, "If you want 'that kind of love,' you must give it first." I have been so inspired by the way they have loved each other well...to the end (as he lost her to cancer :( ) They fit "a lifetime of love" into only about 13 years of marriage. They actually went on their first date literally the day before Derrick and I went on ours. They went February 14th and we went February 15th of 2002. They were married just before us and we married on June 29th of 2002. And, besides all that, Rory surprised Joey with a vow renewal in a church for their 10 year anniversary just like Derrick did for me! Wild. All of this paralleled and we didn't even know of them until this past March when Joey died and we were on our way back from visiting Gma Joy in Kansas. I read Rory's blog aloud to Derrick much of the drive from Kansas to Oklahoma. Derrick had shown me videos of, "A Bible and a Belt" and, "That's Important to Me." I adored them at this point and then he told me about Joey dying. :( We went far back in Rory's blog to put it all together. Neither one of us had a very long courtship, that's for sure and I find it crazy that our stories parallel each other! I had to ask myself if I've done well at loving my husband in the time the Lord has given us. I want to love him better and I want to be intentional with the time the Lord is giving us. There is actually a song by Joey+Rory that is very precious called, "In the Time That You Gave Me." I really hope to begin a year that strengthens us in love and then just overflows into a lifetime (or however much time we get) of loving well. So, I'll be posting my goal for the month of August soon...It will be based on the love chapter- 1 Corinthians 13. I will write what I plan to apply from it. I am continuing to read my companion book about pursuing love by Jonathan Edwards. He was one of the greatest preachers of all time and I believe has written most extensively on 1 Corinthians 13. And so, we now begin- all the way to next August, right?? Praying, Oh my precious Lord (the One who saved me, the One that loves me with an undying- always and forever-love, the One who has a plan for me), my Abba Father,  please help me to grow in love. To love You better, my husband, and others.

Charity and Its Fruits (Jonathan Edwards)- "And after His ascension, the apostles were full of the same spirit in their epistles abundantly recommending love, peace, gentleness, goodness, bowels of compassion and kindness, directing us by such things to express our love to God and to Christ, as well as to our fellowmen and especially to all that are His followers. This spirit, even a spirit of love, is the spirit that God holds forth greater motives in the gospel to induce us to, than to any other thing whatever." 

He then talked about the most perfect and beautiful expression of love known to man, Jesus' dying on the cross and taking the punishment that we deserve- "The work of redemption which the gospel makes known, above all things affords motives to love; for that work was the most glorious and wonderful exhibition of love that ever was seen or heard of."

~When I say, "year," I guess I mean school year.